This past Friday My hubby and I celebrated our 10th year anniversary and it made me think about my choice of moving here, how much it changed my life and that I would not change a bit! When we were talking about getting married and even before, when we were dating, I kept giving him some clues and watching how he would react and if he had any preconceived ideas regarding Latinos or foreigners and he didn’t!
I wanted to share some ups and downs and how, as a latina woman, I am sure I have found the open minded and supportive mate I needed!
As an English Speaker since I was 5 and having English as my major in college, being a fluent speaker since I was 12; I found this was my first obstacle, my first challenge on my newly found “mate”, who claimed to be an English expert and would insist on correcting me and my pronunciation! I felt like bringing up Ferdinand de Saussure and tell him about languages and how they are not better than others and all that good talk, but I easily found out that it would be useless, so I embraced my teacher and learned from and with him. He has proven to be a wonderful and harsh teacher, but just what I needed! LOL, after all, it’s all about compromising!!
From starving to gourmet cook
When I moved, as every good Brazilian woman, I had never seen a broom or a kitchen stove in my life, I have had maids since I was born and housework and cooking were not on my menu! Guess, what? When I moved, a hard reality hit me! I now had to clean, but at first, I said, since I am cleaning, I don’t need to cook! BIG BIG mistake! My husband taste involved no coffee at all and when cooking, taking the chicken out of the freezer with no condiment whatsoever and place it in the oven, as white as snow, as I used to say! Needless to say I lost 10 pounds, starved due to total lack of interest on what was on my plate, reaching a size 0 when I got married! I, then, decided to learn how to cook! Called my mom, who is an excellent cook and borrowed some family recipes and started trying…first burned and soggy rices did not stop me! Today, I cook Chinese, Hispanic, Brazilian, Italian and American dished and last Easter, I surprised my sister with a dish she never “dared” to make, and it turned out super yummy, the Vatapa! Again, needless to say, I’m not a size 0 anymore! LOL and he learned to develop a taste for my comida deliciosa and for coffee off course!
He also proven to be very supportive of my culture and proud of my heritage, bragging to everybody about the 4 languages I speak and about my businesses and how much he enjoys traveling to Brazil! Honestly, I know some things there bother him, like the heat and the food sometimes, but I have never, in 10 years, heard him say anything bad about it or complain.
When we were talking about the wedding and all, I kept thinking about the old stereotype, you see, me, thinking about stereotypes?? How American man were known in Brazil, for being cold and not affectionate! Well, I embraced my fears and my husband proved to be very loving, caring and does everything, way and beyond to please me…..trust me, this is not an easy task, but he manages to accomplish it with honors! I would not trade my American for any other, Latin or not!! He gave up on a lot of things he had dear to his hear to also compromise and show me love and I understand and deeply appreciate it and have done the same in several occasions!
You might be thinking I am plain lucky, suerte??? No!
Life is a commitment, it’s give and take, it’s about always seeing the best in every situation and knowing you have a lot of imperfections and that loving your “mate’s” imperfections is a part of the covenant you made with your life, the covenant of pursuing Happiness!
Anyway, in a nutshell, this is a very brief summary of how I have found the best Mate Who Is “Latino, Educated, Open-Minded and Supportive:”